20 miles were a lot different than I expected.
April 28, 2009
So finally I ran a 20 miler. I didn’t know what to expect, and to finish was not what I expected at all. I still can’t believe I actually did it. Part of me thinks that little Claude was lying to me, like my nike plus used to, the little cheater, but alas 20 miles down in the books. So I don’t want to toot my own horn and I know some of you run this all the time, but it was a big first for me, and there were a lot of things that happened on the way that I knew I would HAVE to share with you guys.
The night before I just kept telling myself that I could do it. I wasn’t scared of it, and I knew if I had to walk, crawl or slog my way through it, I could at least try. I got up at 6 am and wanted to take off at 6:30. I had a muffin, three shot blok and got my fuel belt ready. I packed in three bloks to have at the 4 miler make. It started off great. I was really amp’ing myself up over it. I kept telling myself that I COULD do it, and I WOULD do it. Repeating something in your head is really helpful. I was going to run an 8 mile loop, a 4 mile loop the opposite way, and then the 8 mile loop that I ran earlier. Each end of the loop was going to pass by my house because I hadn’t had time to get the extra pouch for my fuel belt yet so I was just going to grab my gus from home.
The farthest I’ve ever ran before this weekend was only about 17.6 miles, and there were a lot of breaks in between since I ran the 10k and ran to the starting line and home after. I started off wearing my arm warmers, shorts and a t-shirt. I felt very good for the first 7 miles. I didn’t look down at Claude to see my pace, I just let myself go, and enjoyed the fresh beginning of a new day. I was instantly in the ‘zone’ and every mile ticked down I just though to myself, “Okay, that’s only 18 left, now 17 left, now 16 left.” I ate shot bloks at mile 4, this was of course when a nice old guy was running by me and he said hello. I was half chewing, half choking, half trying to breath and I mumbled/drooled out a hello back. He probably thought I was some crazy freak.
It was during this time when I started to imagine myself running a full marathon. I started to think of what I was going to wear on race day, what it would be like to cross the finish line. I started to think about all the girls I’m going to be running with from San Fransisco and Oregon, and how excited I am to see everyone and what a great weekend it will be. Then I started to think, well this is my FIRST marathon, I feel like I should dedicate this to someone. I thought about making a shirt that said, “In memory/honor or something along those lines, of my Mom.” I thought about putting a picture on the shirt, what I would want it to say. Then I started thinking about this more and more, and I thought about well if I ever make it to Boston, I would much rather dedicate that race to her, or the race I BQ at to her, and I don’t know if I want a shirt with her picture on it, or people to feel bad for me, etc. etc. Then my thought process changed to something else and I forgot about that.
Once I got to 8 miles I had to RACE to the bathroom back at my house. I realized this could be an issue, we are going to have to work on that. Then I got three more shot blok and took off again. While at home I also took off my arm warmers. I felt good on the 4 mile loop still and kept counting down the miles. For the first 8+4 loops I didn’t listen to music and just enjoyed my run, not caring about my pace. There was one spot where it smelled like a heap of dead fish, and another where it smelled so strongly of bacon. I realized I cannot smell things on my run or they make me gag. I thought I was going to throw up during these smelly points. There was a huge 177 mile relay race going on and I would smile at the racers walking or running by and sometimes encouraged them with something random like, “Way to go!” I’m so original, I know. They were running from Santa Barbara to Dana Point in relay teams. That was kind of exciting.
After four miles, I stopped at home and went to the bathroom yet again. I made sure both my ‘home’ stops were only three minutes. I took yet another gu and took off to finish this run. At this point it was pretty hot out so I decided to brave the elements and run without a shirt. That is the only way I’m getting back in shape. If I run without a shirt then I feel like I have to do extra sit ups. 
I grabbed my ipod for this last loop of the run as well because I knew this was going to be where I needed distractions. I took off and was into my run about 13 miles. Then in the distance I saw a huge crowd of walkers on the beach path. I knew this wasn’t just a random group of walkers, but it had to be yet another organized event. I was interested to see what it was again. I got closer and closer, and realized it was the Avon Breast Cancer Walk. After a little research this morning I realized it wasn’t the actual walk, but a Training Mock Walk, but still everyone was wearing pink and excited to be out and walking and raising awareness to breast cancer on this Saturday. It looked like it could be the real walk there were so many people.
Unexpectedly, I all of a sudden felt my heart start to burn with a familiar hurt, and my breathing was hard. This is when I lost it. I started crying. It was mile 14, I had 6 more to go and I was crying while running next to these walkers. My nose was sniffling and I was just looking down and reminding myself to keep going. To keep putting one foot in front of the other one. They were walking against the route I was running and all saw me crying while running along. Though I had my music on I could hear my breathing and it was weird like shallow wheezing.
I had done the Avon 3-day walk when my mom was still alive my junior year in High School. I had worn the pink gear, I had walked the 60 miles, and my mom (and entire family) were there supporting me through the entire thing. It was a great experience and seeing these women walking was just inspiring and it reminded me so much of my mom it turned me into a wheezing/running/crying mess.
I kept telling myself to suck it up and stop crying, but I couldn’t. It was a weird weird mile. I hate crying in front of other people and I just took some deep breaths and kept running. I remember feeling a tear go down my cheek and I thought to myself, really, REALLY you are seriously CRYING?! Then, just as quickly as I started choking up, I stopped crying and was okay to finish the run. The last 6 miler were good. It was once I got to mile 17, I was hurting, my butt was killing me. I have never even felt pain in my butt when I run at all. I got back to my house and thought about my run. I had completed it, I had broke down in the middle and still kept going. Sometimes that’s all you need to keep going. I took an ice bath and then showered and laid in my bed for some time watching the Penn Relays and the NFL draft.
I think it reminded me so much of my mom and how she would be so proud of me for running a full marathon. It reminded me so much of how many people are affected by breast cancer, and how many people we need to find a cure for. I’m sure people were like WHAT IN THE WORLD IS WRONG WITH THIS GIRL. When you are tired, and running, and crying, it’s hard to breathe.
Doing this run brought so many emotions out, looking back on it now, I would have NEVER expected that something like that would remind me of my mom, none the less make me cry and break down in the middle of a long run. It also made me realize that I can run a full marathon. I was beginning to get nervous and I know the brutalness of a full marathon doesn’t even come until the 20th mile, but you know what, bring it on. If you go in with the attitude that it’s going to be too hard, that you won’t like it, that it’s going to stink, that you’re hurt, that you can’t do it, guess what…
It is going to be too hard, you won’t like it, it is going to stink, you will be hurt and you won’t be able to do it.
I’ve played this mental game with myself, and almost got caught up in it again last night. Sunday after the 20 miler was my scheduled rest day and last night when I got home it was cold. I was exhausted and didn’t want to run, but decided to go out to ‘loosen up’ I planned to run a four miler but when I started I was incredibly sore. I didn’t even realize how sore I was. I told myself that I HAD to do four miles, and that if they were slow or fast they were going to get done, so I ran 2 miles out away from my house so I couldn’t go back after two miles. After the first mile, I had gotten rid of my sore stiffness and was chugging along and knew that I would be fine for four miles. So fine that my last mile was 7:45. I had to allow myself a chance for success.
The two weeks leading up to my 20 miler, I probably put in about 8 miles in each of those weeks. Believing in yourself works wonders. Running is hard, it’s just a mental game of pushing yourself to your personal limit. It’s not easy, but no one ever said anything that was worth it was easy. Allow yourself to succeed.
xoxo
5 miles of a good head clearing
March 24, 2009
So claudeskipoo let me down a little bit and wouldn’t find a satellite for a while yesterday. It’s okay, I’ve since forgiven him but it was a while, meaning oh like 2 miles. I knew the route though and got in a really good run and did some hill work to try to strengthen my quads up in hopes that my knee wouldn’t be sore for this weekend. I feel well and ran an average pace of 8:15 for 5 miles.
Do you ever have those workouts where you feel like your head is just cleared and you can keep running and it just feels so good. That was the workout last night. It felt freaking good to be out and running. Even though it was cold and I decided to wear shorts (stupid) and it was incredibly windy. I still felt good. I didn’t bring my ipod and I still felt really good. It felt good to remember how a run feels. A run that you don’t get tired on, that isn’t way too far, that you don’t have to suck down gus and drink tons of water to finish.
Just a leisurely run. One that gets the heart rate up but doesn’t get you overly sweaty to the point where you reek. It was so calming to be able to watch the lights of Long Beach light up against the dark night sky and to hear the ocean lapping at the sand. It was good to hear my feet continue to pound the pavement. The sand on the path squishing under my shoes.
It was nice to hear my consistent breath, the huffing and puffing as I climbed the hills. Invigorating. That’s what running can be if you give it the chance. It’s always good to be able to come back to something that gives you peace, and allows you to think.
To me, Running is always there. I can always tie up my shoes and take off for three miles, for five mile, for fifteen miles. It’s something that no matter the time of day, no matter the day you’ve had, no matter the people around you, or anything else, you can still do it. You can still get out and run. I love that. I love running.
Though this picture isn’t at the beach, it’s one of my favorite running pictures.
xoxo
The Walking Diva
March 11, 2009
I love meeting people and I consider myself to be a friendly and outgoing person. I especially love meeting new runners and hearing about races and past experiences. It’s always fun when someone surprises you with a great time, or some crazy distance run. So I mentioned yesterday that on my walk/run/jog/death march I met a woman named Yolanda.
This was when I was initially starting to feel my knee hurting not even two miles into the race yet. Well Yolanda was power walking by me and asked me how I was feeling and if I was okay. She was a very pretty black woman who was super fit and was hitting her stride power walking the trails. I thought to myself that I could probably walk with her so I walked along for a while hoping my knee would feel better. It didn’t and then the hills began. We walked along and we started talking. I am a big talking while running or walking in this case and I really enjoyed her company.
She told me about how she was a walker and I’m sure I muttered something about me becoming one after this race. She kept up a great pace though and really powered me up those hills. Our conversation came really easily and I had fun laughing with her and tackling the hills together.
She asked me about what races I’ve done and what I had coming up and I told her about taking the full marathon plunge in San Diego. She was very encouraging and then I asked her if she had ever walked a full marathon. She kind of laughed and she said yes. I asked her how many she had done. Then the craziest thing came out of her mouth. Last year I wanted to do 50 marathons for my 50th birthday. Honestly she looked like she was barely entering her 30s. So last year I did 50, plus I decided to tack on 15 more. So I finished last year with 65.
WHAT IN THE WORLD. Now many of you may not find this interesting at all but immediately this woman became my hero. She had walked 65 marathons in one year and was awarded the Prestigious Marathon Maniacs Maniac Female of the Year Award.
We continued to walk and talked about her races. Oh, the fact she had walked the Red Rock Marathon in Vegas on Saturday and drove back to LA and then was doing this 50k (30 miles) on Sunday. AMAZING. Hands down the most inspiring person that I could have possibly met in my life thus far.
She gave me an little bit of insight to her training and diet, her family life and injuries that she has over come, and allowed me to pester her with questions throughout the entire route. She was super encouraging to me as well, and told me about some of her races that she had done over the past year. Her perseverance and dedication to the sport of marathoning was amazing and to hear her share her stories was also very inspirational. I was happy that even though my knee didn’t hold up during the race as I had hoped, I was more than honored to even be able to walk with Yolanda.
She finished the year with 1,783.48 miles walked.
HOLY COW.
Proud to have met you Walking Diva!
Here’s a link to a story highlighting her achievements from her local city newspaper.
xoxo
PS Yolanda if you are reading this.. Good luck on Thursday!
PPS I have tons of great and exciting news coming your way. Get ready!
